Virtual adultery, does it count?

There have been a couple of posts recently on the social networking weblog about adult social networking sites and the potential for virtual adultery, questioning whether it constituted being unfaithful. I thought I’d delve into this a little more and give it further consideration.

This first article, virtual adultery, briefly discussed the use of social networking sites such as second life and ever quest for building relationship, some innocent, some not so innocent! It then went on to ask whether these relationships constituted adultery. The author and some quoted users didn’t seem to think it did, so long as it didn’t impacted the “real world”. The second article discussed red light center which is a virtual world created purely for engaging with like minded adults and engaging in “adult activities”. This is one step on from the second life example as this platform was set up primarily to engage in “sexual” (I use this term loosely!) activities in a virtual environment.

I have to say personally I don’t agree that it is all ok so long as there is no impact on real life but thought Id do some slightly more “scientific” investigation to get to the bottom of it.

Dictionary.com defines adultery as “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse”. So assuming that one or both of the participating parties is married I guess the next thing to do is quantify “sexual intercourse” which is defined by the same site as “genital contact, esp. the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm.” Now I could obviously go on and on with this and begin defining each different points but I don’t think I would get much closer to a conclusion simply because all definitions of this nature are going to refer to one or more human elements, associated with the real world. I would therefore come to the conclusion that it qualifies as adultery if the individuals involved consider their virtual characters an extension of themselves, a bit woolly I know but that’s as close as I can get to a conclusion.

It doesn’t stop there though as there is another factor to consider, betrayal, “to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to”. By engaging in “sexual” activities in a virtual environment whilst in a relationship I would suggest you are betraying your partner, that is assuming they are not aware of what you are doing! The author does make this point in her closing comments from the first article.

“My advice if you want to engage in online relationships is talk to your real life partner about it and see how they feel. Reassure them that’s it’s just a game and a way to have fun, relieve some tension. If they really object then you have two options. Either don’t do it, or be really careful.”

I would echo these sentiments and in my eyes, virtual adultery would constitute betrayal if the partner of one or both parties involved was not aware of what was going on. So if you are looking to make the most of what the virtual world has to offer my advice would be, be honest, be open, or be prepared to sacrifice your real life relationships.